Wheaties or Wood

From the time we moved into this house, my DH has been obsessed with finishing the basement. Little did I know his plan to turn this obsession into reality would begin last week. I mean, heaven knows we need more space for the two of us!

It all began a little over a week ago. A loud beeping sound, like a truck backing into my driveway, sounded from outside a little before 8a.m. Sure enough there it was. A truck with enough wood to build a whole house was parked in the middle of the street right in front of my house. Luckily I had been given a little notice about this delivery, or I probably would have run outside with my wet hair, no makeup, mismatched shoes, sporting the first thing I could grab to wear, and frantically yelling that he was at the wrong house. To my DH credit, he had given me a little over 8 hours notice, so I was expecting the delivery....late that afternoon. Go figure. When you want them early, they can't possibly do it; and when you want them late, they'll be there at the crack of dawn.

Now, seeing how much wood was being plopped onto our driveway, I really would have panicked if it had been the DH who placed the order. You know the kind. More is better. Yeah, that's him. Anyway, he had some help from our newly adopted son and good friend, (thank you, thank you, thank you) who helped him figure out how much wood we needed. Still, it looked like a TON of wood (no pun intended).

I ask you, my friends, does a pile of wood excite you? I mean does it give you that "high" you're looking for? Does it contain some sort of "manly booster" in it? What is it? I need to know! Seriously, its effect was immediate. It caused a surge of adrenaline. It caused excitement. It caused a flow of creativity. It was amazing. One problem. It was on the driveway and it was going to rain. And we're not talking little drizzly raindrops. We're talking big bucket sized, wood warping raindrops. Big problem.

Solution: Move wood from driveway to garage.

Question: "Is the garage big enough?"

Answer: "Of course."

Question: "Are you sure?"

Answer: "Have I ever lied to you?"

Answer: Blank dark stare.

Problem: It's 9:30 p.m.

Problem: It's still 350 degrees and humid outside.

Question: "Is it really suppose to rain?"

Answer: "Yes."

Problem: Move wood from driveway to garage.

Solution: Suck it up and move wood from driveway to garage. Must eat more Wheaties.

Problem: Wood is heavier than it looks (to me at least)

Solution: Carry less, make more trips.

Solution: The DH is still having an adrenaline rush. He can carry more.

Question: "Isn't this why you have sons?"

Answer: "Don't worry, you don't have to help."

Problem: Now you look like a weak and whiny female.

Solution: Just keep moving. Maybe you'll sweat off a few pounds.

Solution: Wood moved. It only took an hour and a half.

Problem: You are soaking wet (and not from rain) and haven't lost an ounce.

Question: "Hey, did you lose any weight?"

Answer: "Yeah, FOUR pounds."

Answer: Blank dark stare.

Solution: The smell of the wood in garage increases effect of wood on DH.

Problem: All the wood needs to be carried from garage into basement.

Question: "How are we going to get the wood into the basement?"

Answer: "Don't worry, you don't have to help."

Answer: Soaking wet, blank dark stare.

Solution: Re-think possibility of hiring it done.

Problem: The DH has his heart set on doing it.

Problem: He doesn't have all the equipment he needs in order to do the task.

Problem: Should never send DH to Lowes and Home Depot when on a "wood high".

Solution: More is better. Nail gun, nails, compressor....better than Christmas morning.

Problem: Wood must be moved from garage to basement.

Problem: Wife is weak and whiny. Refuses to eat Wheaties.

Solution: Re-think possibility of hiring it done.

Problem: Have tools. Can't part with tools. Better than Christmas.

Question: "Don't you think I can do it?"

Answer: Blank stare...."Of course, I have all the confidence in the world in you."

Problem: Have tools. Can't part with tools. Better than Christmas.

Problem: Have weak and whiny wife. Throws out box of Wheaties.

Problem: Still on "wood high". Wife is the Grinch. She steals Christmas and Wheaties.

Solution: Pay to have it done.

Solution: Done.

One problem from this phase of the project remains. The scrap wood and sawdust in the basement needs to be cleaned up. I don't know if I can handle a man so susceptible to wood.