Good Mail?

To my dear friends at the RNC. I mean seriously guys, is this what you call "Good Mail"? Once a month maybe, but every. single. day? I know you appreciated the measly donation my dear husband made to your cause when I wasn't looking, but perhaps you've got us mixed up with his rich uncle or something. Your response has been....well should I say....overwhelming! I mean...those 48 Ronald Reagan calendars will come in really handy this Christmas. We will wrap them up and ding-dong-ditch, I mean...give them to all our neighbors and friends this year. It's also nice to know the Bush's think of us as family now. That's a real nice photo of the two of them you sent to us. Perhaps next time they are in town, we can get together.

I don't want to sound ungrateful, it's just that....well....my shredder is wearing out, and I'd really appreciate if you'd save the money and stop with the "good mail". PULEASE! Oh, and about the one that says "Past Due"...I'm willing to forgive and forget. You'd never send something like that to family now would you? With the economy being in the toilet and all...it would really look bad if we got sent to collections.

Thank you for your help in this matter.